Kayla's Story

Growing up, I was surrounded by narcissists, addicts, and abusers. I was only taught what not to be like; I had zero guidance on how to be successful. My father passed away a month before my ninth birthday, and I experienced suicidal thoughts, but I knew suicide was not the way. My father was an addict, and I loved him dearly no matter his flaws. He was the only family member who treated me decently and with kindness even when no one was looking. Despite my tremendous loss, I held on though I wasn’t sure why.

I enjoyed school for the most part, but my mother took me out in the eighth grade and never enrolled me into another school, which severely limited me throughout my life.
At 21, I gave birth to my firstborn son. In that hospital bed, I finally knew why I was still alive. Being a mother is a huge part of my purpose. Given my upbringing, I had fallen in love with a covert narcissist with whom I had my son. There came a point though when I realized he was not going to be the father I had hoped he’d be.

I had no plan, no help, no resources, no education. I only knew my son and I deserved more. My ex knew I wanted to leave him, and he verbally abused me. Others I believed I could trust told me to stay or go back and realize how “lucky” I was. The time came for my son and me to leave, but I feared I couldn’t establish a firm foundation for us. My ex was correct when he told me I’d lose everything if I left him, and I had to relinquish custody of my son to his father. My identity was stripped away and my self-worth plummeted. I was broken.

Just before I turned 25, I gave in to my suicidal thoughts. I took the first hard drug I could find, but in the midst of it, God was there. He reminded me it wasn’t who I am, or who I was going to be. Before I arrived at the Lighthouse, I had been clean from meth for some time, but I was still wrestling with God. How could such things happen repeatedly in my life if God truly loved me? I was lost and angry. As a child I felt I had to survive out of spite. Then I came to the Lighthouse, where I realize I survive out of a love only known and intimately understood by those within the faith.

My life is a testimony of God’s love, grace, and authority. January 14, 2024, I was baptized. Devoting my heart, mind, body, and soul to God has given me a peace that only He can give. The Lighthouse has provided a safe place for me to heal and to grow. I am pursuing my high school diploma through an online program, and I am learning how to be a successful adult in all aspects of life.